Friendship

A sweet friend of mine gave me a gift and I love it. So, I put it up on my mantel where it ties in wonderfully with my living room decor. But more importantly it reminds me of something very important: what friendship is supposed to be. You see, it is a really cool metal and wood plaque with an actual definition of friendship painted on it. So here's the definition:

Friendship - having companionship with one or more people, staying attached because of your affection for each other, and providing a strong support system for each other. Isn't that a good one?

What hits me from that definition first is the phrase "staying attached." That can be difficult to do in today's world. Isn't it easy to let go of attachments due to busy schedules, to-do lists, conflicts and general fatigue? What does it take to actually stay attached? T-i-m-e. There has to be real connection. We need to connect with our friends and I mean much more than "connecting" with Facebook "Friends."

The same sweet friend who gave me the gift on my mantel has been gone a lot this summer paired with a busy schedule for me, and so we have not had any time together in months. We carved out a couple of hours this week and neither of us wanted to leave, it felt so good to laugh and talk and REALLY connect. To look into the face of a friend and see her smiling back at me or asking for advice or knowing enough about me to understand my "issues" is really a gift. Because she gave that gift of time to me, I knew I was important enough in her life to stay connected and attached and that feels so good!

For a battery to make contact, sometimes some corrosion must be scraped off. That happens in friendships as well, as conflicts or miscommunications take their toll. We must deal with these in love and honesty choosing to stay attached instead of scrapping a friendship to avoid the issue. Fight for those friendships, girls! They are worth saving!

The second thing about that definition that strikes me is the phrase "providing a strong support system." When was the last time I supported one of my friends strongly, making sure I was there for her in a time of need regardless of what it cost me? Our friends need to know what we are there for them, care enough to realize what is impacting their lives, and will walk with them through it. That is friendship building material right there!

There are times that friendships will be costly in time, money, prayer, shopping therapy, etc. Consider John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." Jesus laid down his life for us, I shouldn't balk at laying down my Sunday afternoon nap! I think Luke 6:38 is applicable here too when it says, "Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." What measure have you been using in supporting your sister-friends?

So, get out a piece of paper and list your friends. With whom do you have a real attachment? Who forms your support system and to whom do you offer support? Where is there some conflict that needs to be resolved? With whom would you like to form a greater attachment? It will involve t-i-m-e, so pray for discernment and wisdom and for a deeper love for your friends.

Written by Carrie

Me & Bobby B.

He was tall (for a 6th grade boy) blonde and blue eyes. He had captured my heart and now the rest of the 6th grade class decided that capturing both of us and handcuffing us to the backstop at recess would be a hilarious adventure. This is exactly why you never tell your middle school girl friends who your latest crush is. Otherwise you find yourself in a strange predicament. Actually, I really didn't mind. I was so utterly in love (or so I thought) with Bobby B. that being handcuffed to a baseball backstop was actually quite romantic to me. For 15 minutes I could just gaze into those beautiful ‘swim in the deep blue sea’ eyes and fantasize about our future together. Where we would live, his occupation which would provide us the house with the white picket fence, how many beautiful blue eyed, blond haired children we would have, etc. etc. etc. Unfortunately my day dreaming came to an abrupt close when fellow classmates, with teacher in tow, came to unlock our cuffs. After all, when recess was over and Bobby B. and I didn't show up for language arts someone had to fess us to their devious plan.

Fortunately, Bobby B. and I never got that white picket fence and all those children because Bobby B and I never got hitched. Instead God provided a dark haired, semi tall guy who is much more my type. And much cuter I might add.

However, the story of Bobby B. makes a great illustration for this month's theme on freedom. Even though I was not a free individual when handcuffed to that back stop some forty years ago I didn't mind. I was delighted to be enslaved to one (even though momentarily) who I had been captivated by. That word, captivated, is an interesting word. It can mean enthralled, fascinated, awestruck. At eleven years old I thought I was captivated, enthralled, fascinated, awestruck with Bobby B. Now that I am older and wiser I can say I have learned what it really means to be captivated by another more worthy of my awe.

Christ captured my heart back in January of 1980. From that day on I have been "handcuffed" to Him and I have not minded a bit. In fact, a bit like Bobby B. but on a grander scale, I have been, for thirty one years, held captive by God’s everlasting love for me. To be in held captive in God's presence compares to nothing else. Psalm 84:1 sums it up well.

How lovely are your dwelling places, O Lord of hosts! My soul longed and even yearned for the courts of the Lord. My heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God.

God’s love has captivated me to the point that I never want to leave His presence. And because I was given His Holy Spirit when I surrendered my heart and life to Jesus 31 years ago I am forever in His presence. I am “handcuffed” eternally to Him. He will never let me go. I am forever His. A much more beautiful and enduring relationship than me and Bobby B.

*****************************************************************

This month the Lovely Branches (lovelybranchesministries.org) theme is on freedom. Take just a couple minutes (2:06) to watch Matt Chandler as he talks about slavery in the biblical sense. If interested in ordering the complete DVD series you can find it at http://store.rightnow.org/Store/. Once there, search Philippians.


In this next video Matt Chandler is giving us just a short snippet (3:08) from a message he gave at the Right Now Conference a couple years ago. We have this video in its entirety in our Lovely Branches library. If you live in the Stafford County area and are interested in borrowing this awe inspiring video contact us at admin@lovelybranchesministries org.