Friendship

A sweet friend of mine gave me a gift and I love it. So, I put it up on my mantel where it ties in wonderfully with my living room decor. But more importantly it reminds me of something very important: what friendship is supposed to be. You see, it is a really cool metal and wood plaque with an actual definition of friendship painted on it. So here's the definition:

Friendship - having companionship with one or more people, staying attached because of your affection for each other, and providing a strong support system for each other. Isn't that a good one?

What hits me from that definition first is the phrase "staying attached." That can be difficult to do in today's world. Isn't it easy to let go of attachments due to busy schedules, to-do lists, conflicts and general fatigue? What does it take to actually stay attached? T-i-m-e. There has to be real connection. We need to connect with our friends and I mean much more than "connecting" with Facebook "Friends."

The same sweet friend who gave me the gift on my mantel has been gone a lot this summer paired with a busy schedule for me, and so we have not had any time together in months. We carved out a couple of hours this week and neither of us wanted to leave, it felt so good to laugh and talk and REALLY connect. To look into the face of a friend and see her smiling back at me or asking for advice or knowing enough about me to understand my "issues" is really a gift. Because she gave that gift of time to me, I knew I was important enough in her life to stay connected and attached and that feels so good!

For a battery to make contact, sometimes some corrosion must be scraped off. That happens in friendships as well, as conflicts or miscommunications take their toll. We must deal with these in love and honesty choosing to stay attached instead of scrapping a friendship to avoid the issue. Fight for those friendships, girls! They are worth saving!

The second thing about that definition that strikes me is the phrase "providing a strong support system." When was the last time I supported one of my friends strongly, making sure I was there for her in a time of need regardless of what it cost me? Our friends need to know what we are there for them, care enough to realize what is impacting their lives, and will walk with them through it. That is friendship building material right there!

There are times that friendships will be costly in time, money, prayer, shopping therapy, etc. Consider John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." Jesus laid down his life for us, I shouldn't balk at laying down my Sunday afternoon nap! I think Luke 6:38 is applicable here too when it says, "Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." What measure have you been using in supporting your sister-friends?

So, get out a piece of paper and list your friends. With whom do you have a real attachment? Who forms your support system and to whom do you offer support? Where is there some conflict that needs to be resolved? With whom would you like to form a greater attachment? It will involve t-i-m-e, so pray for discernment and wisdom and for a deeper love for your friends.

Written by Carrie