Imagine being at sea. Not in some glamorous cruise ship with deck chairs and midnight buffets. No, this would be an old ship. The hull is patched tight with tar and pitch. The decks are rough wood, worn smooth by the daily scouring of salt water and the constant tread of bare feet. The sky is brilliant blue, cloudless. You are surrounded by the smells of saltwater, fish and sweat. It's hot, for the sun is high and there is no wind. The big canvas sails hang limp from the masts. There's no breeze, not even a stirring of air. The sea is becalmed, still as glass in every direction. All around you the sailors are unnaturally quiet. They look restless, but oddly listless as well. The captain paces, stopping periodically to squint up into the sky. It's the dreaded doldrums. For four days your ship has been trapped in a calm. No wind to move you forward. No currents to drift you along. Water is being rationed and your mouth is dry as cotton. The only thing your ship can do is wait. Wait and pray for the wind.
For those in our Thursday study you will recognize that paragraph taken from our book, Managing Your Moods by Women of Faith. The author's description of the doldrums was so well described that you could almost feel you were there. It gives a perfect picture of those times when we, again as the book describes, are in "seasons of waiting, dry spells, and times of dullness". We can at times, absolutely out of the blue, find ourselves in the doldrums, an emotional state all its own.
The ladies shared today their definition of the doldrums. Carrie mentioned a word which has become a family favorite. Mumfy - the state of feeling discontent, listless, at loose ends. I absolutely love that word. Think I will add it to my "funky word" vocabulary list.
Theresa shared a list of things that came to her as she did her lesson this week: burned out, listless, weary, faint, weak, burdened, thirsty, dull-hearted, unresponsive, to name just a few. (It's the teacher in her.)
When we looked at the word, dull or dull hearted, as referenced in Jeremiah 10:21, Acts 28:27 and Hebrews 5:11-14 (#3, pg 51) we see three different words in Hebrew and Greek.
bawar - stupid, dull hearted, unreceptive.
pachuno - render the soul dull or callous.
nothros - slothful, lazy, without energy.
The doldrums at times are a time of dullness, when life just seems blah. In fact, Elizabeth described it well Thursday evening when she said, "when things just aren't moving along in your life." We feel spiritually lazy, weary and our hearts can become quite dull because of the eerie calm of the moment.
Interestingly, many gals in the study, including myself, felt the scriptures referenced in the first part of the lesson really didn't match what we personally felt this emotion was all about. At least not until the author began to describe her philodendron plants. All of her other plants needed constant attention to survive, but her philodendron was virtually indestructible. "They even bounce back if you forget to water them for a week or so." She compared this to herself in those times when she neglects the spiritual needs of her heart. When we neglect our relationship with God we can experience dry spells, or as she referred to it, drought.
That word drought reminded me of a wonderful passage from Jeremiah 17:7-8, just preceding our verse from previous weeks on our deceitful hearts. It reads:
Blessed is the man (woman) who trusts in the Lord
and whose trust is the Lord.
For he (she) will be like a tree planted by the water,
that extends its roots by a stream.
And will not fear when the heat comes, but its leaves will be green.
And it will not be anxious in a year of drought
nor cease to yield fruit.
When we as women have rooted ourselves in God's word, in His truth, in His grace, in His love through prayer, study of the word, fellowship with other committed believers our roots go wide and deep. So grounded in fact will those roots be, that as the years and circumstances of life go on we find ourselves stronger at each new season. So that even when the doldrums or drought comes, those times of listlessness, dullness, complacency fall upon us, we can turn to the One who will once again strengthen us. Over time we will find ourselves growing in steadfastness, much like the tree of Jeremiah 17:8.
These dry seasons are bound to come. When they do, we can take the wonderful council found in Isaiah 40:28-30,
Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who WAIT on the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.
That word wait in verse 31 can be easily interchanged with the words, trust or hope in, depending on the version you read.
When I think of the dreaded doldrums, waiting is a key word to me. Last week we shared a great deal about how God knows our needs and always comes through for us. But we all have to admit that God doesn't always answer our prayers or unmet needs as quickly as we would like. I mentioned this last week in the blog on worries that if God knows you have an immediate need He will meet it immediately. However, sometimes God answers in His own good time and own good way, depending on what He knows is our deepest need. He knows what we need in the deepest parts of our hearts and will at times withhold giving us what we ask for so that He might do a work in us and in others.
There was a time in my life where God placed me in a "waiting room". For many years I cried out to Him a heartfelt prayer which He was, in my thinking, way too slow to answer. One day in prayer, I once again cried out, asking why He was taking so long to answer something so seemingly good. His answer, spoken clearly to my heart was, "Edna, if I had answered that prayer according to your timetable, in your way, you and I would not have what we have today." That blew me away. Still does, quite frankly, as I ponder His loving ways. He knew all along that those times of crying out to Him were times He would use to grow me, to set my roots deep, to intensify my relationship with Him.
Sweet sister, those seasons of waiting in your own life are times when God can do work in your heart. Those doldrums you dread so much are a tool in God's hands. He wants you to "choose" Him at these times instead of your own thoughts of what you think is best. And you must be very careful in these waiting seasons to not let your thoughts lead you from the doldrums to doubt to discouragement and from there even into despair. Let your mind rest on Him and His goodness, His faithfulness by going to His word, even when your moods and emotions tells you otherwise.
We finished today's study with words from David in Psalm 27:13-14 (3(, pg 53):
I would have despaired if I had not believed
that I would see the goodness of the Lord in
the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord.
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
yes, wait for the Lord.
I encourage you to write that passage down and post it somewhere in your home where you can refer to it often. In fact, just put it to memory so when those dreaded doldrums suddenly appear you have truth to run to. Something which will help you become rooted and grounded in your God and His truth.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Worries and Fears
As we think through the many activities we go through as women on a daily basis (pg 41, intro) we find ourselves feeling pretty comfortable with juggling all those activities. However, as our mind begins to move us into the realm of our tomorrows we find the emotions of worry, anxiety and sometimes even fear beginning to grip us.
We can run through our minds those events we are most likely to be most anxious about: I hope it doesn’t rain for Saturday’s game. I hope my new boss isn’t a tyrant. I hope whoever buys the house next door doesn’t have any rowdy teenagers. Do I need to get a part time job to make ends meet? I bet all the kids needs braces. What if the house burns down? What if the plane crashes? I wonder if we have enough life insurance. What if I lose my job? What if it’s cancer? Will we ever pay off the second mortgage. Do we have enough money for retirement?
We can run just about any kind of anxious thought through our minds on a daily basis but we do well to be reminded of Jesus’ words in Matthew 6: “Do not worry for tomorrow, today has enough worries of its own.”
Below is a handout from Bible study taken from "Feelings and Faith" by Brian S. Borgman. Read through them and see if each description of worry, anxiety and fear fit some of your own experiences.
The Overlapping Emotions of Worry, Anxiety and Fear
Worry
To worry is to feel uneasy or anxious about something. There are troubling thoughts associated with worry.
Anxiety
Anxiety looks like worry amped up a few volts. There is mental and emotional distress. There is an uneasiness of mind caused by uncertainty.
Fear
Fear is the emotion of serious distress which is aroused by impending danger, evil or pain, whether real or imagined. Fear makes us feel helpless. Fear hauntingly reminds us we are not in control and there is nothing we can do about it.
Can you relate? So could King David from Psalms 55:4-5 (pg 42, #1). He speaks of the anguish within him and how the terrors of death had fallen all about him; fear and trembling had come upon him and horror had overwhelmed him. One translation even states it as “My heart pounds in my chest. The terror of death assaults me. Fear and trembling overwhelm me, and I can’t stop shaking.” We can certainly relate in regards to all those fearful emotions that grip us on occasion.
But David also reminds us in Psalm 139:23 of the practice of asking God to search his heart and reveal to himself any sin, even sin such as worry, anxiety and fear. Knowing that our worry is truly sin to God because it is absolutely contrary to trusting God, David goes on to say in verse 24, “See if there is any hurtful or offensive way in me and lead me in the everlasting way”. The hurtful part is certainly obvious in the fact that our worries affect us physically as we find ourselves with many side effects such as headaches, sweaty palms, rapid heart rate when our concerns become major worries. We also know from research that many times, if left unchecked, our worries can lead us down a path of more serious side effects and the loss of our health. But hurtful ways also affect us spiritually as they are dangerous to our relationship with God; not in losing the relationship if we are true born again followers but hurtful in the sense of putting a sad wedge between ourselves and Him and possibly incurring His discipline.
When looking at the offensive way of verse 24, consider the fact that it is definitely offensive to our God for us to meditate on all our worries instead of trusting Him. Think for a moment how you would feel if your child had a major concern and that child decided to turn to someone else to meet their needs instead of you. You would be hurt, you would be offended. Likewise God, the One who promises to love you with an everlasting love is offended when we choose worry over trust of Him and His faithfulness. God wants to, as indicated in the last part of verse 24, lead us in His everlasting way, His healthy way, His best way.
Allow God to do as David did, to speak the truth to your heart about those things spiritually and physically unhealthy for you. And then ask Him to take that burden of sin off of you so you can trust Him fully for everything. Follow these words from Psalm 56:3 “When I am afraid I will put my trust in You.”
In Matthew 6, Jesus tells us we need not worry about clothing, food, all the necessities of life. When we seek Him first (vs 33) and all His righteousness, His kingdom, His purpose, we can, as His children, know He will provide. This is not limited to just the tangible needs of our day. This extends also to all your "God known needs" like strength, peace, wisdom, comfort, etc.
I shared in class Thursday, a few of the numerous times God has revealed his goodness to my family through His providence. Even when I showed a lack of faith He remained faithful. One such time was years ago when I was preparing to go to the store with a rather large grocery list. My husband came home with cash in hand after depositing his paycheck in the bank. Unfortunately, instead of the $300 I was expecting he handed me $115. I would like to say I was grateful for the little bit of money that was placed in my hand but instead I have to admit I was angry and frustrated. I had no idea how I was going to get groceries for my family of five for the next few weeks on a measly $115. And I told God so. As I drove to the store, list in hand, I didn’t do as any woman of faith should do, “God, please help me stretch this $115 ” or “God, you are the God that provides. I will trust You.” Oh no, not Edna. She had to be rude, disrespectful and untrusting to the God who always proved Himself faithful to her in the past.
As I wandered through the store, (still frustrated by the way), taking things off the shelf to put into my cart, putting some back, I was trying to figure out, 'should I get this item this month or wait till next month. How much can I stretch this rice? Should I skip the fresh fruit this month?' Etc. etc. etc.
As I placed my items on the counter I was still quite frustrated. My list still had many things yet not crossed off and as I watched the groceries one by one go through the scanner I wondered once again how I was going to feed my family on so little. As the last item ran through and the checker totaled my bill I was more than stunned when she announced my total as $115, nothing less, nothing more. I can’t even really express my emotions of that moment. They were certainly different than just a few moments earlier.
As I loaded my bags humbly into the car and headed home I broke into tears. I was, needless to say, very ashamed of my behavior toward my faithful God, ashamed of my lack of trust. He allowed me my ranting and raving, all the while knowing He was going to be loading my cart up with what He knew I would need for my family, knowing it would be His way of proving Himself to me once again. It occurs to me as of this writing that I was asking the wrong question, “How was I going to feed my family, meet their needs?” It never has been and never will be me or another human being who ultimately meets me and my family’s needs. It is He and He alone that knows my need and meets it by His wisdom, power and love.
And I am in awe of the grace of our God. When His kids so foolishly decide to worry and refuse to trust Him, He lovingly disciplines us and reminds us of His goodness toward us. I learned a powerful lesson that day. My God can and will provide.
God knows your needs as well and promises in Philippians 4:19 that He will “supply all your needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Keva Farney reminded us last week through her testimony that God desires to reveal Himself to us in our daily walk with Him if we would but choose to turn to Him. Do you need hope, wisdom, strength, guidance, peace? You need not worry, just trust His love and care for you. When He knows you have a need which needs to be met instantly He will meet it instantly. When He knows that need is one he can use to help you grow in Him He may prolong meeting that need so that He might work something in your heart and your character. Either way, instantaneously or prolonged He will be faithful to meet your need in His timing and in His way.
Be reminded of the words of Jesus in John 14:27 as He tells His disciples of His soon departure, “My peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you; not as the world gives I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.”
Jesus had it all covered. He was reassuring His disciples then and us, His disciples today, that even though He would be departing soon He would be leaving something extremely wonderful in their (our) possession. It would be His Holy Spirit which is representative of His peace. Why would they (we) need to be troubled and fearful. They (we) would have His Spirit as not only a pledge of their (our) faith in Him but all the blessings of Himself, including peace within them (us).
Doesn't it make sense? If God was willing to give up His greatest treasure, His Son, to meet our greatest need for reconciliation and eternal life with Him we could trust Him to meet every other need thereafter? It’s easy for Him to provide; it’s hard for us to trust He will provide, even after all He has already done.
Let today be the day you stop worrying and begin to trust Him, for He will, as promised “supply all your needs in Christ Jesus, according to His riches in Christ Jesus.”
Friday, October 15, 2010
Lonely Hearts
Yesterday's study focused on loneliness. I shared a brief 15-20 minute lesson then we had a guest speaker, Keva Farney of Stafford, Kansas. Below is my lesson followed by info on Keva and the link to her blog, Hope In Jesus.
If you were to define loneliness what words would you use? That was the question posed to the ladies at Thursday study. Words like, sad, isolated, not fitting in, fear,depression, abandoned, rejected are just a few of the words mentioned.
Knowing that God has created us with a wide range of emotions one may wonder why God would create us with an emotion described by such negative terms. The past couple weeks as we have studied the emotions of anger and jealousy (visit previous postings, Temper, Temper and The Green Eyed Monster) we found that both of these emotions, while negative in nature, do have some positive relevance to them as indicated in the scriptures. But what about loneliness? Could God have intended this sad, dark emotion to have a good side as well?
During my 51 years on the earth I have had my own bouts with loneliness. When I think back on those times I find the words, empty, void, missing something, coming to mind. As a fifteen year old I remember retreating on many an occasion to my bedroom to draw, paint, write poetry (I was a bit of a loner as well as a nerd, the artsy, craftsy type.) Being a loner I was not surrounded by very many friends. (Thank you, Vicki and Jenny for being my two closest buddies, for loving me in spite of my nerdiness.)
Since I was a loner at heart I enjoyed retreating to my bedroom to practice my creativity. However, some of those times of retreat were met with moments of deep loneliness. It was in those moments God made Himself known to me. I would find myself in a weepy state asking God to wrap His arms around me because I felt lonely and sad. And He did. No, I did not feel physical arms wrapped around me but what I did feel was a quickened sense of peace as the sadness left me. I physically felt enveloped by His presence. To this day I am amazed that the God of the universe would actually take the time to respond to a lonely fifteen year old girl's cry for a hug.
Fast forward about 20 years and I find myself surrounded by a loving husband, three young children and many wonderful friends. Once again, loneliness would visit me. This time though it was not just occasional moments of loneliness like I experienced as a teenager but now there were occasional seasons of loneliness. God in His goodness once again would show up to comfort me but unlike the sudden peace I experienced years earlier God took me through these difficult seasons, teaching me about His love and grace. He was by my side all along.
Perhaps you too have gone through moments or seasons of loneliness. I believe most, if not all, women have or will, at some point in their lifetime, suffer with similar bouts. The reason? We have, as human beings, a tendency to have expectations that others will fill, what I refer to as, our God pocket. The 17th century French mathematician Blaise Pascal puts it so much more eloquently when he says,
"There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ."
God in His wisdom placed within our spiritual hearts a hole which was intended only to be filled by Him. And when we seek to fill that hole with other relationships we can find ourselves with a sense of loneliness when those people don't "deliver" as we expected. Perhaps this is why you find God saying on many occasions throughout His word to "Seek Him" like in 1 Chronicles 16:11 -
Seek the Lord and His strength, seek His face continually."
and in James 3:8a -
"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."
In our books on page 35 #5 the phrase "to know and be known" is used, indicating relationship. God desires relationship with the ones created in His image. That's you and me sweet sister.
Psalm 62:8 indicates a very personal message stating:
Trust in Him always, O people;
Pour out your heart to Him;
God is a refuge to us.
Augustine, as quoted in A.W. Tozer's Pursuit of God, prays,
"Thou has formed us for Thyself and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee."
Being an absolutely true and profound statement I thought it would be more relevant to us in our study on loneliness this week to tweak it just a bit and translate it into our modern English:
What if we prayed:
"You have formed us for Yourself and our hearts are lonely until we find companionship, friendship, relationship in You."
God's desire is for us to have a personal relationship with Him. Through the life and death of His Son, Jesus Christ He has provided a way. By God's grace and by our faith in that grace we can step over the threshold into the Holy and Holies and have a personal relationship with the King of the universe. Yet we can find ourselves, even those of us who have taken that step of faith, seeing God as a distant God and not the intimate, close and personal God that He is.
God is not at all distant as Tozer states from the the pages of The Pursuit of God,
"Wherever we are, God is here. there is no place, there can be no place where He is not. Ten million intelligences (persons) standing at as many points in space and separated by incomprehensible distances can each one say with equal truth, God is here. No point is nearer to God than any other point. It is exactly as near to God from any place as it is from any other place. No one is in mere distance any further from or any nearer to God than any other person."
In essence, Tozer is stating that you, sweet sister, reading this blog from another house, state or even country is no nearer or no further to God than I am or anyone else is. God is omnipresent, meaning He is always present everywhere. So you can easily say, "God is here" wherever you may find yourself today, tomorrow or next week as can I and anyone else on the face of this earth.
This truth is so well confirmed by David in Psalm 139:1-18. Although a bit long it is worth reading every word, soaking up all its amazing truth:
"Lord, you have examined me
and know all about me.
You know when I sit down and when I get up.
You know my thoughts before I think them.
You know where I go and where I lie down.
You know everything I do.
Lord, even before I say a word,
you already know it.
You are all around me—in front and in back—
and have put your hand on me.
Your knowledge is amazing to me;
it is more than I can understand.
Where can I go to get away from your Spirit?
Where can I run from you?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there.
If I lie down in the grave, you are there.
If I rise with the sun in the east
and settle in the west beyond the sea,
even there you would guide me.
With your right hand you would hold me.
I could say, “The darkness will hide me.
Let the light around me turn into night.”
But even the darkness is not dark to you.
The night is as light as the day;
darkness and light are the same to you.
You made my whole being;
you formed me in my mother’s body.
I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way.
What you have done is wonderful.
I know this very well.
You saw my bones being formed
as I took shape in my mother’s body.
When I was put together there,
you saw my body as it was formed.
All the days planned for me
were written in your book
before I was one day old.
God, your thoughts are precious to me.
They are so many!
If I could count them,
they would be more than all the grains of sand.
When I wake up
I am still with you." NCV
Wow! That is incredibly powerful truth for our lonely hearts. I encourage you to read this psalm through several times over and be reminded you are not alone. Speak these words often "God is here". Then do as Psalm 62:8 suggests, trust in Him and pour out your heart to Him for He is a refuge, especially for the lonely heart.
Keva Farney shared with us at study Thursday the many journal entries she has written in the past 3 1/2 years starting with the day her husband, Tyler was first diagnosed with non-smoker's lung cancer on March 8, 2007. He went on to be with Jesus in heaven on October 17, 2009. I encourage you to visit Keva's blog Hope in Jesus where you can read many of those journal entries. You will be blessed as you read Keva's transparent heart at the difficulties of adjusting to life without her husband and by her daily, sometimes moment by moment "choice" to go to God for her every need.
To visit Keva's blog go to http://lbrhopeinjesus.blogspot.com/ or click on the link at the right hand side of this page.
If you were to define loneliness what words would you use? That was the question posed to the ladies at Thursday study. Words like, sad, isolated, not fitting in, fear,depression, abandoned, rejected are just a few of the words mentioned.
Knowing that God has created us with a wide range of emotions one may wonder why God would create us with an emotion described by such negative terms. The past couple weeks as we have studied the emotions of anger and jealousy (visit previous postings, Temper, Temper and The Green Eyed Monster) we found that both of these emotions, while negative in nature, do have some positive relevance to them as indicated in the scriptures. But what about loneliness? Could God have intended this sad, dark emotion to have a good side as well?
During my 51 years on the earth I have had my own bouts with loneliness. When I think back on those times I find the words, empty, void, missing something, coming to mind. As a fifteen year old I remember retreating on many an occasion to my bedroom to draw, paint, write poetry (I was a bit of a loner as well as a nerd, the artsy, craftsy type.) Being a loner I was not surrounded by very many friends. (Thank you, Vicki and Jenny for being my two closest buddies, for loving me in spite of my nerdiness.)
Since I was a loner at heart I enjoyed retreating to my bedroom to practice my creativity. However, some of those times of retreat were met with moments of deep loneliness. It was in those moments God made Himself known to me. I would find myself in a weepy state asking God to wrap His arms around me because I felt lonely and sad. And He did. No, I did not feel physical arms wrapped around me but what I did feel was a quickened sense of peace as the sadness left me. I physically felt enveloped by His presence. To this day I am amazed that the God of the universe would actually take the time to respond to a lonely fifteen year old girl's cry for a hug.
Fast forward about 20 years and I find myself surrounded by a loving husband, three young children and many wonderful friends. Once again, loneliness would visit me. This time though it was not just occasional moments of loneliness like I experienced as a teenager but now there were occasional seasons of loneliness. God in His goodness once again would show up to comfort me but unlike the sudden peace I experienced years earlier God took me through these difficult seasons, teaching me about His love and grace. He was by my side all along.
Perhaps you too have gone through moments or seasons of loneliness. I believe most, if not all, women have or will, at some point in their lifetime, suffer with similar bouts. The reason? We have, as human beings, a tendency to have expectations that others will fill, what I refer to as, our God pocket. The 17th century French mathematician Blaise Pascal puts it so much more eloquently when he says,
"There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ."
God in His wisdom placed within our spiritual hearts a hole which was intended only to be filled by Him. And when we seek to fill that hole with other relationships we can find ourselves with a sense of loneliness when those people don't "deliver" as we expected. Perhaps this is why you find God saying on many occasions throughout His word to "Seek Him" like in 1 Chronicles 16:11 -
Seek the Lord and His strength, seek His face continually."
and in James 3:8a -
"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."
In our books on page 35 #5 the phrase "to know and be known" is used, indicating relationship. God desires relationship with the ones created in His image. That's you and me sweet sister.
Psalm 62:8 indicates a very personal message stating:
Trust in Him always, O people;
Pour out your heart to Him;
God is a refuge to us.
Augustine, as quoted in A.W. Tozer's Pursuit of God, prays,
"Thou has formed us for Thyself and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee."
Being an absolutely true and profound statement I thought it would be more relevant to us in our study on loneliness this week to tweak it just a bit and translate it into our modern English:
What if we prayed:
"You have formed us for Yourself and our hearts are lonely until we find companionship, friendship, relationship in You."
God's desire is for us to have a personal relationship with Him. Through the life and death of His Son, Jesus Christ He has provided a way. By God's grace and by our faith in that grace we can step over the threshold into the Holy and Holies and have a personal relationship with the King of the universe. Yet we can find ourselves, even those of us who have taken that step of faith, seeing God as a distant God and not the intimate, close and personal God that He is.
God is not at all distant as Tozer states from the the pages of The Pursuit of God,
"Wherever we are, God is here. there is no place, there can be no place where He is not. Ten million intelligences (persons) standing at as many points in space and separated by incomprehensible distances can each one say with equal truth, God is here. No point is nearer to God than any other point. It is exactly as near to God from any place as it is from any other place. No one is in mere distance any further from or any nearer to God than any other person."
In essence, Tozer is stating that you, sweet sister, reading this blog from another house, state or even country is no nearer or no further to God than I am or anyone else is. God is omnipresent, meaning He is always present everywhere. So you can easily say, "God is here" wherever you may find yourself today, tomorrow or next week as can I and anyone else on the face of this earth.
This truth is so well confirmed by David in Psalm 139:1-18. Although a bit long it is worth reading every word, soaking up all its amazing truth:
"Lord, you have examined me
and know all about me.
You know when I sit down and when I get up.
You know my thoughts before I think them.
You know where I go and where I lie down.
You know everything I do.
Lord, even before I say a word,
you already know it.
You are all around me—in front and in back—
and have put your hand on me.
Your knowledge is amazing to me;
it is more than I can understand.
Where can I go to get away from your Spirit?
Where can I run from you?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there.
If I lie down in the grave, you are there.
If I rise with the sun in the east
and settle in the west beyond the sea,
even there you would guide me.
With your right hand you would hold me.
I could say, “The darkness will hide me.
Let the light around me turn into night.”
But even the darkness is not dark to you.
The night is as light as the day;
darkness and light are the same to you.
You made my whole being;
you formed me in my mother’s body.
I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way.
What you have done is wonderful.
I know this very well.
You saw my bones being formed
as I took shape in my mother’s body.
When I was put together there,
you saw my body as it was formed.
All the days planned for me
were written in your book
before I was one day old.
God, your thoughts are precious to me.
They are so many!
If I could count them,
they would be more than all the grains of sand.
When I wake up
I am still with you." NCV
Wow! That is incredibly powerful truth for our lonely hearts. I encourage you to read this psalm through several times over and be reminded you are not alone. Speak these words often "God is here". Then do as Psalm 62:8 suggests, trust in Him and pour out your heart to Him for He is a refuge, especially for the lonely heart.
Keva Farney shared with us at study Thursday the many journal entries she has written in the past 3 1/2 years starting with the day her husband, Tyler was first diagnosed with non-smoker's lung cancer on March 8, 2007. He went on to be with Jesus in heaven on October 17, 2009. I encourage you to visit Keva's blog Hope in Jesus where you can read many of those journal entries. You will be blessed as you read Keva's transparent heart at the difficulties of adjusting to life without her husband and by her daily, sometimes moment by moment "choice" to go to God for her every need.
To visit Keva's blog go to http://lbrhopeinjesus.blogspot.com/ or click on the link at the right hand side of this page.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Green Eyed Monster
So just how jealous are you? There on page 26 of your Managing Your Moods book you see a list of some things which sometimes cause jealousy within us toward others, especially other women. Just what kind of things can we be jealous of: "We resent this one"s bigger house or that one's new car. We wonder why some women are so wise, poised and articulate. This one is pretty. That one has the perfect career. This one has such polite children, That one has so many friends"...........etc, etc. etc. You can fill in the blank "I'm jealous of her because ___________."
So what's the result of letting are hearts become so full of jealousy toward another? According to Proverbs 14:30 (pg 26, #1) it is "rottenness to the bones." One translation even says it is like "cancer to the bone." Sounds like jealousy is a whole lot more destructive than we ever realized, especially when we let our jealous thoughts get a grip on us. They become destructive to us when they consume our hearts and minds on a regular basis.
If we don't deal with our jealousy toward other people or even other things we become like the pharisees mentioned in Luke 11:39 (pg 27 #2):
Then the Lord said to him, “You Pharisees are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and wickedness!
We too work really hard on cleaning the outside but neglect working on the inside, essentially the heart. Using the same dishwashing analogy let's consider for ourselves what it would be like to finish a delightful bowl of chili and a glass of milk. Picking up our dinner dishes we then take them to the sink where we take a rag and gently clean the outside of our dinner bowl and drinking glass then carefully place them back in the kitchen cabinet, giving not a thought to thoroughly cleaning the inside with soap and water. Not only would this be disgusting the next time you reach for those some dishes for your next meal but it could be potentially harmful to your stomach. The same is true according to our Lord in regards to our hearts. We must spend adequate time cleaning the inside of our hearts by allowing God to search them and reveal our jealousies or other sin. Otherwise that sin becomes disgusting and destructive.
Jealousy is destructive in two ways:
Greek – New Testament
[zelotes /dzay•lo•tace/] n m. 1 one burning with zeal, a zealot. 2 used of God as jealous of any rival and sternly vindicating his control. 3 most eagerly desirous of, zealous for, a thing. 3A to acquire a thing, (zealous of). 3B to defend and uphold a thing, vehemently contending for a thing.
In our English language we see these two words jealous and zealous so differently but years ago they were one and the same which is how they remain in our Bible today.
In 1 Kings 19: 10 & 14 most translations read that Elijah was "zealous for the Lord" but could easily be translated "jealous for the Lord". The same is true in 1 Peter 3:13 where we are encouraged to "be zealous for what is good". This could easily read "be jealous for what is good".
Confusing isn't it? I myself had a hard time getting my brain to reconcile these two seemingly different words which according to God's word are the same. Then my confusion was compounded when I read this in Exodus 20:5:
"You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods."
More searching brought up:
"You must worship no other gods, for the Lord, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you." Ex 34:14
and
The Lord your God is a consuming fire; he is a jealous God.
Dt 4:24
Now I was really stumped. What exactly was the thread that tied jealous to zealous and ran right through a jealous God? The answer, which took some time to come to, was desire. Deep within each of us we desire certain things. That desire is not necessarily bad unless that desire lies outside of God's perfect will. In essence it is the object of our desires and its consuming of our attention which makes our jealousy (or zealotry) bad. If I am jealous/zealous for the things or people of the world more than God, desiring them with consuming passion, then that is sin. But if I am jealous/zealous for Him then that is righteous and what He desires for us.
The fact that God is jealous for us as indicated in the scriptures above shows us that He wants nothing to come between Him and His children. He loves us with a jealous love. In fact we are the apple of His eye according to Deuteronomy 32:10 and Zechariah 2:8. Some would argue those scriptures are strictly for the Israelites. However, when we give our lives to Christ, trusting Him fully for salvation then we belong to Him. We, along with all others who put their trust in Him, become his children, his people.
So yes, sweet sister, you are the apple of God's eye, His cherished possession. He has his eyes and heart focused squarely on you. He loves you with a jealous love and desires for you to reciprocate that love back to Him. That is why He will not tolerate sin in your life.
So what are you jealous/zealous for today? Is it Him? Or is it the things and ways of the world. Is it relationships? Our Jealous God will allow nothing or no one to come between Him and you. So I encourage you today to take a step into God's throne room. Ask Him to reveal to you those things which keep you from loving Him with jealous/zealous love. As you confess those things one by one with a genuine desire to lay them down you will find yourself taking one step closer to a deeper intimacy with Him. I know it is what He desires. The question is, is it what you desire?
Finish your lesson today by returning to Luke 10:38-42 (pg 29 #6). As you read back through this short but powerful lesson on Mary and Martha, consider what these two women were each jealous/zealous for. What was each of their individual desires? Then ask yourself three questions:
Which one of these two women am I most like today?
Which one do I most want to be like?
And what steps will I take today to become like her?
So what's the result of letting are hearts become so full of jealousy toward another? According to Proverbs 14:30 (pg 26, #1) it is "rottenness to the bones." One translation even says it is like "cancer to the bone." Sounds like jealousy is a whole lot more destructive than we ever realized, especially when we let our jealous thoughts get a grip on us. They become destructive to us when they consume our hearts and minds on a regular basis.
If we don't deal with our jealousy toward other people or even other things we become like the pharisees mentioned in Luke 11:39 (pg 27 #2):
Then the Lord said to him, “You Pharisees are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and wickedness!
We too work really hard on cleaning the outside but neglect working on the inside, essentially the heart. Using the same dishwashing analogy let's consider for ourselves what it would be like to finish a delightful bowl of chili and a glass of milk. Picking up our dinner dishes we then take them to the sink where we take a rag and gently clean the outside of our dinner bowl and drinking glass then carefully place them back in the kitchen cabinet, giving not a thought to thoroughly cleaning the inside with soap and water. Not only would this be disgusting the next time you reach for those some dishes for your next meal but it could be potentially harmful to your stomach. The same is true according to our Lord in regards to our hearts. We must spend adequate time cleaning the inside of our hearts by allowing God to search them and reveal our jealousies or other sin. Otherwise that sin becomes disgusting and destructive.
Jealousy is destructive in two ways:
1. As mentioned above, if left unchecked it will eat at us, thereby creating a wedge in our relationship with God.
2. If acted upon it will bring destruction not only on us but on those closest to us like in Proverbs 15:27 where jealousy breeds a greed to the point of illicit gain.
At the risk now of losing you all together we are going to take a deeper look at the word jealous in the Bible. It will seem a bit confusing muddling through the definitions at first but if you will see it through to the end it will make sense.
In the Hebrew in the Old Testament we see the word jealous (envy) defined as:
[qana’ /kaw•naw/] v 1 to envy, be jealous, be envious, be zealous. 1A1 to be jealous of. 1A2 to be envious of. 1A3 to be zealous for. 1A4 to excite to jealous anger. 1B to provoke to jealous anger, cause jealousy.
One scripture example of the word jealous in the Old Testament is Genesis 37:11
So his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind. This speaks of Joseph whose brothers were so jealous of him because of their father's favoritism toward him that they sold him to a traveling caravan. Then they lied to their father that he'd been killed by a wild beast.
In the Greek in the New Testament jealous is defined as:
[zeloo /dzay•lo•o/] v. 1 to burn with zeal. 1A to be heated or to boil with envy, hatred, anger. 1A1 in a good sense, to be zealous in the pursuit of good. 1B to desire earnestly, pursue. 1B1 to desire one earnestly, to strive after, busy one’s self about him. 1B2 to exert one’s self for one (that he may not be torn from me). 1B3 to be the object of the zeal of others, to be zealously sought after. 1C to envy.
An example of a New Testament scripture here is from James 3:14-16:
But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.
Obviously in these two examples jealousy is a very negative and destructive emotion.
2. If acted upon it will bring destruction not only on us but on those closest to us like in Proverbs 15:27 where jealousy breeds a greed to the point of illicit gain.
At the risk now of losing you all together we are going to take a deeper look at the word jealous in the Bible. It will seem a bit confusing muddling through the definitions at first but if you will see it through to the end it will make sense.
In the Hebrew in the Old Testament we see the word jealous (envy) defined as:
[qana’ /kaw•naw/] v 1 to envy, be jealous, be envious, be zealous. 1A1 to be jealous of. 1A2 to be envious of. 1A3 to be zealous for. 1A4 to excite to jealous anger. 1B to provoke to jealous anger, cause jealousy.
One scripture example of the word jealous in the Old Testament is Genesis 37:11
So his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind. This speaks of Joseph whose brothers were so jealous of him because of their father's favoritism toward him that they sold him to a traveling caravan. Then they lied to their father that he'd been killed by a wild beast.
In the Greek in the New Testament jealous is defined as:
[zeloo /dzay•lo•o/] v. 1 to burn with zeal. 1A to be heated or to boil with envy, hatred, anger. 1A1 in a good sense, to be zealous in the pursuit of good. 1B to desire earnestly, pursue. 1B1 to desire one earnestly, to strive after, busy one’s self about him. 1B2 to exert one’s self for one (that he may not be torn from me). 1B3 to be the object of the zeal of others, to be zealously sought after. 1C to envy.
An example of a New Testament scripture here is from James 3:14-16:
But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.
Obviously in these two examples jealousy is a very negative and destructive emotion.
Now let's look at a word which, in the original Hebrew. is identical to jealous and in the Greek is almost identical. The word is zealous. Take a look below and compare it with the definitions above of jealous.
Hebrew - Old Testament
[qana’ /kaw•naw/] v. 1 to envy, be jealous, be envious, be zealous. 1A (Piel). 1A1 to be jealous of. 1A2 to be envious of. 1A3 to be zealous for. 1A4 to excite to jealous anger. 1B (Hiphil) to provoke to jealous anger, cause jealousy.Greek – New Testament
[zelotes /dzay•lo•tace/] n m. 1 one burning with zeal, a zealot. 2 used of God as jealous of any rival and sternly vindicating his control. 3 most eagerly desirous of, zealous for, a thing. 3A to acquire a thing, (zealous of). 3B to defend and uphold a thing, vehemently contending for a thing.
In our English language we see these two words jealous and zealous so differently but years ago they were one and the same which is how they remain in our Bible today.
In 1 Kings 19: 10 & 14 most translations read that Elijah was "zealous for the Lord" but could easily be translated "jealous for the Lord". The same is true in 1 Peter 3:13 where we are encouraged to "be zealous for what is good". This could easily read "be jealous for what is good".
Confusing isn't it? I myself had a hard time getting my brain to reconcile these two seemingly different words which according to God's word are the same. Then my confusion was compounded when I read this in Exodus 20:5:
"You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods."
More searching brought up:
"You must worship no other gods, for the Lord, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you." Ex 34:14
and
The Lord your God is a consuming fire; he is a jealous God.
Dt 4:24
Now I was really stumped. What exactly was the thread that tied jealous to zealous and ran right through a jealous God? The answer, which took some time to come to, was desire. Deep within each of us we desire certain things. That desire is not necessarily bad unless that desire lies outside of God's perfect will. In essence it is the object of our desires and its consuming of our attention which makes our jealousy (or zealotry) bad. If I am jealous/zealous for the things or people of the world more than God, desiring them with consuming passion, then that is sin. But if I am jealous/zealous for Him then that is righteous and what He desires for us.
The fact that God is jealous for us as indicated in the scriptures above shows us that He wants nothing to come between Him and His children. He loves us with a jealous love. In fact we are the apple of His eye according to Deuteronomy 32:10 and Zechariah 2:8. Some would argue those scriptures are strictly for the Israelites. However, when we give our lives to Christ, trusting Him fully for salvation then we belong to Him. We, along with all others who put their trust in Him, become his children, his people.
So yes, sweet sister, you are the apple of God's eye, His cherished possession. He has his eyes and heart focused squarely on you. He loves you with a jealous love and desires for you to reciprocate that love back to Him. That is why He will not tolerate sin in your life.
So what are you jealous/zealous for today? Is it Him? Or is it the things and ways of the world. Is it relationships? Our Jealous God will allow nothing or no one to come between Him and you. So I encourage you today to take a step into God's throne room. Ask Him to reveal to you those things which keep you from loving Him with jealous/zealous love. As you confess those things one by one with a genuine desire to lay them down you will find yourself taking one step closer to a deeper intimacy with Him. I know it is what He desires. The question is, is it what you desire?
Finish your lesson today by returning to Luke 10:38-42 (pg 29 #6). As you read back through this short but powerful lesson on Mary and Martha, consider what these two women were each jealous/zealous for. What was each of their individual desires? Then ask yourself three questions:
Which one of these two women am I most like today?
Which one do I most want to be like?
And what steps will I take today to become like her?
Friday, October 1, 2010
Temper, Temper
Yesterday we listened to Chip Ingram's message "The Monster That Lives Within" from his series Overcoming Emotions that Destroy. Below are a few notes from this CD but due to the large amount of information we could not post the whole 45 minute long message. I suggest, especially if you or someone close to you deals with this emotion extensively that you purchase the series from LOTE.org. Not only will you get the full message on CD but you will also get the full set of five CDs.
I have also posted at the end of the blog some short youtube videos of Chip Ingram teaching on this subject.
James 1:19-20 My dear brothers and sisters, always be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily, because anger will not help you live the right kind of life God wants. NCV
Chip Ingram starts his message by telling us that we all have God given emotions, including anger. However negative anger can ruin our relationships if we don't figure out what causes it and how to deal with it. We need to train our emotions to work in such a way that allows God to transform our hearts and lives.
Chip gave a word picture of a house with faulty wiring, essentially a short which at first is unseen but at some point can cause a fire with disastrous results. This anger in us can become much like the firecracker illustration on page 23 of our books under Trinkets to Treasure. A short fuse on our angry emotions can cause us to explode at the littlest things.
Chip tells us that anger is neither a good or bad emotion. He defines it as a "charged, morally neutral, emotional response for protective preservation".
Anger can be good if we let it motivate us to action as in the cases of defending righteousness or upholding a good cause. Chip used his illustration of himself joining the board of a child welfare service in his community after becoming angry over the sight of a mother's violent treatment of her eighteen month old child. Through his one action sparked by anger he and several other Christians and eventually churches began to reach out to meet the needs of children and their families.
Biblically speaking, even Jesus became angry at the money changers in the temple, Moses at the Israelites' rebellion and David at Goliath's mocking of God. Ephesians 4:26a says, "Be angry but sin not." So anger toward the right things for the right reasons handled the right way can produce some right results
But negative anger, if left unchecked, can bring negative consequences and pitfalls. Here are just a few verses from Proverbs that reveals its negative results:
A man of great anger will bear the penalty,
For if you rescue him, you will only have to do it again. Prov 19 19
Do not associate with a man given to anger;
Or go with a hot-tempered man. 22:24
An angry man stirs up strife,
And a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression. 29:22
It is better to live alone in the desert
than with a quarreling and angry wife. 21:19
Here are a few questions for you:
Have you ever done something you wish you hadn't when you were angry?
Ever said something you wish you hadn't when you were angry?
Ever made a bad decision when you were angry?
Ever damaged a personal, family, work related or ministry relationship when you were angry?
If you are like me you answered yes to at least one of those questions. Well, there is good news -there is hope for both you and me. We can truly come to a point of understanding our God given anger from His perspective and learn to control it. We are reminded from last week's lesson that "our hearts are deceitful above all else and desperately sick". That's the bad news. However, we see in the following verse that God "searches our hearts and tests our minds". He alone knows our hearts and circumstances and desires above all else to transform us into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. Philippians 4:13 tells us that we can "do all things through Christ who strengthens us." That's the good news. We can trust Him to show us how to get control so we might reflect Him to a watching world and bring glory to His name.
Let's look at the three masks we as women can wear on a day to day basis. These masks listed below reveal how we express our anger. According to Chip Ingram and Dr. Becca Johnson who worked alongside Chip on this project, we are either spewers, stuffers or leakers when it comes to expressing our anger. Read below and see if you can determine which one you are.
Spewers:
1. I can be blunt and forceful when someone does something to frustrate me.
2. As I speak my convictions my voice becomes increasingly louder.
3. When someone confronts me about a problem I am likely to offer a ready rebuttal.
4. No one has to guess my opinion. I'm known for having unwavering views.
5. When something goes wrong I focus so sharply on fixing the problem I often overlook people's feelings.
6. I often get caught having bickering matches with family members.
7. During verbal disagreements I often tend to repeat myself several times.
8. It's hard to keep something to myself when I know something is wrong.
9. I have a reputation of being strong willed.
10. I tend to give advice when people don't ask for it.
Stuffers:
1. I am image conscious and don't like others to know my problems.
2. Even when frustrated I portray myself publicly as having it all together.
3. I am rather reserved about sharing my frustrations or problems.
4. If family members or friends upset me I can let days pass without mentioning it.
5. I have a tendency to be depressed and moody.
6. Resentful thinking is common for me but people would not suspect it.
7. I have suffered with physical complaints, headaches, stomach ailments and sleep irregularities.
8. At times I've wondered if my opinions or preferences are really valid.
9. Sometimes I feel paralyzed when confronted by an unwanted situation.
10. I feel guilty a lot about little things.
Leakers:
1. When I am frustrated I become silent knowing it bothers other people.
2. I am prone to sulk and pout.
3. When I don't want to do a project I procrastinate.
4. When someone asks me if I'm frustrated I will lie and say "No, everything is fine".
5. Sometimes I am deliberately evasive so others won't bother me.
6. I sometimes approach work projects half heartedly.
7. When someone talks to me about my problems I stare straight ahead, being deliberately obstinate.
8. I am often sarcastic and hide my real hurts behind jokes.
9. I withdraw affection and become frigid when hurt.
10. I forget to do things for people when they have wounded me.
So have you figured out which one you are, spewer, stuffer or leaker?
Consider the things which make you angry. Is it the little things or the big things. Determine which mask you wear or if you are like me, you wear more than one sometimes. Next consider how you might overcome the battle you have with anger. As a follower of Jesus Christ you have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit always at hand to grant you grace, strength, wisdom. And as we have said from the start of this study we need to be constantly going to God's Word. Gripping His truth is the only way to overcome. In and of ourselves getting control of our anger just isn't possible but with God all things are possible.
I encourage you to watch the Chip Ingram videos below as they will give further understanding of this emotion called anger. Feel free to comment below on how Chip's teaching on this subject and your "Managing Your Moods" study guide has benefited you.
The Many Faces of Anger and Spewing Your Anger
Expectations
Insecurity
I have also posted at the end of the blog some short youtube videos of Chip Ingram teaching on this subject.
James 1:19-20 My dear brothers and sisters, always be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily, because anger will not help you live the right kind of life God wants. NCV
Chip Ingram starts his message by telling us that we all have God given emotions, including anger. However negative anger can ruin our relationships if we don't figure out what causes it and how to deal with it. We need to train our emotions to work in such a way that allows God to transform our hearts and lives.
Chip gave a word picture of a house with faulty wiring, essentially a short which at first is unseen but at some point can cause a fire with disastrous results. This anger in us can become much like the firecracker illustration on page 23 of our books under Trinkets to Treasure. A short fuse on our angry emotions can cause us to explode at the littlest things.
Chip tells us that anger is neither a good or bad emotion. He defines it as a "charged, morally neutral, emotional response for protective preservation".
Anger can be good if we let it motivate us to action as in the cases of defending righteousness or upholding a good cause. Chip used his illustration of himself joining the board of a child welfare service in his community after becoming angry over the sight of a mother's violent treatment of her eighteen month old child. Through his one action sparked by anger he and several other Christians and eventually churches began to reach out to meet the needs of children and their families.
Biblically speaking, even Jesus became angry at the money changers in the temple, Moses at the Israelites' rebellion and David at Goliath's mocking of God. Ephesians 4:26a says, "Be angry but sin not." So anger toward the right things for the right reasons handled the right way can produce some right results
But negative anger, if left unchecked, can bring negative consequences and pitfalls. Here are just a few verses from Proverbs that reveals its negative results:
A man of great anger will bear the penalty,
For if you rescue him, you will only have to do it again. Prov 19 19
Do not associate with a man given to anger;
Or go with a hot-tempered man. 22:24
An angry man stirs up strife,
And a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression. 29:22
It is better to live alone in the desert
than with a quarreling and angry wife. 21:19
Here are a few questions for you:
Have you ever done something you wish you hadn't when you were angry?
Ever said something you wish you hadn't when you were angry?
Ever made a bad decision when you were angry?
Ever damaged a personal, family, work related or ministry relationship when you were angry?
If you are like me you answered yes to at least one of those questions. Well, there is good news -there is hope for both you and me. We can truly come to a point of understanding our God given anger from His perspective and learn to control it. We are reminded from last week's lesson that "our hearts are deceitful above all else and desperately sick". That's the bad news. However, we see in the following verse that God "searches our hearts and tests our minds". He alone knows our hearts and circumstances and desires above all else to transform us into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. Philippians 4:13 tells us that we can "do all things through Christ who strengthens us." That's the good news. We can trust Him to show us how to get control so we might reflect Him to a watching world and bring glory to His name.
Let's look at the three masks we as women can wear on a day to day basis. These masks listed below reveal how we express our anger. According to Chip Ingram and Dr. Becca Johnson who worked alongside Chip on this project, we are either spewers, stuffers or leakers when it comes to expressing our anger. Read below and see if you can determine which one you are.
Spewers:
1. I can be blunt and forceful when someone does something to frustrate me.
2. As I speak my convictions my voice becomes increasingly louder.
3. When someone confronts me about a problem I am likely to offer a ready rebuttal.
4. No one has to guess my opinion. I'm known for having unwavering views.
5. When something goes wrong I focus so sharply on fixing the problem I often overlook people's feelings.
6. I often get caught having bickering matches with family members.
7. During verbal disagreements I often tend to repeat myself several times.
8. It's hard to keep something to myself when I know something is wrong.
9. I have a reputation of being strong willed.
10. I tend to give advice when people don't ask for it.
Stuffers:
1. I am image conscious and don't like others to know my problems.
2. Even when frustrated I portray myself publicly as having it all together.
3. I am rather reserved about sharing my frustrations or problems.
4. If family members or friends upset me I can let days pass without mentioning it.
5. I have a tendency to be depressed and moody.
6. Resentful thinking is common for me but people would not suspect it.
7. I have suffered with physical complaints, headaches, stomach ailments and sleep irregularities.
8. At times I've wondered if my opinions or preferences are really valid.
9. Sometimes I feel paralyzed when confronted by an unwanted situation.
10. I feel guilty a lot about little things.
Leakers:
1. When I am frustrated I become silent knowing it bothers other people.
2. I am prone to sulk and pout.
3. When I don't want to do a project I procrastinate.
4. When someone asks me if I'm frustrated I will lie and say "No, everything is fine".
5. Sometimes I am deliberately evasive so others won't bother me.
6. I sometimes approach work projects half heartedly.
7. When someone talks to me about my problems I stare straight ahead, being deliberately obstinate.
8. I am often sarcastic and hide my real hurts behind jokes.
9. I withdraw affection and become frigid when hurt.
10. I forget to do things for people when they have wounded me.
So have you figured out which one you are, spewer, stuffer or leaker?
Consider the things which make you angry. Is it the little things or the big things. Determine which mask you wear or if you are like me, you wear more than one sometimes. Next consider how you might overcome the battle you have with anger. As a follower of Jesus Christ you have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit always at hand to grant you grace, strength, wisdom. And as we have said from the start of this study we need to be constantly going to God's Word. Gripping His truth is the only way to overcome. In and of ourselves getting control of our anger just isn't possible but with God all things are possible.
I encourage you to watch the Chip Ingram videos below as they will give further understanding of this emotion called anger. Feel free to comment below on how Chip's teaching on this subject and your "Managing Your Moods" study guide has benefited you.
The Many Faces of Anger and Spewing Your Anger
Expectations
Insecurity
Friday, September 24, 2010
Happiness at Any Cost
It is hard to imagine that our own hearts can actually mislead us but as we read the opening paragraph of Chapter Two of "Managing Your Moods" most of us see a reflection of our own hearts as we read:
We want to live happily ever after. And what keeps us happy? When things go our way. When everything runs smoothly in the direction we had hoped it would go, we are able to maintain a pleasant frame of mind. No bumps. No interruptions. No inconveniences."
Does that paragraph speak to your heart as much as it does to mine? I hate to admit it but there are times when I definitely want no one or nothing to "upset MY apple cart". Somewhere along the way I guess my heart led me to believe that the apple cart was mine and it was all about me. And that keeping all my pretty little apples all in the order I have placed them would make me happy. Unfortunately, like we shared in last week's lesson, circumstances, relationships, ill health, inconveniences happen and the apple cart gets upset and my happy little world is shattered.
Perhaps I missed the truth of Jeremiah 17:9 (pg 10 #2).
The heart is more deceitful that all else, and is desperately sick, who can understand it?
That word 'deceitful' also means sly. Hard to imagine I have a sly and deceitful heart that would turn on me and lead me down a slippery slope. The words 'desperately sick' can be translated as incurable. Wow! My heart is so sick it is incurable. Talk about spiritual heart disease.
Yet our society is filled with phrases like "our hearts are essentially good" and "follow your heart." The message from God's Word of Truth is that our hearts are not essentially good and are in need of healing. And we should definitely not follow our hearts unless our hearts are following Jesus and His truth.
Mark 7:21-23 (pg 11 #3) shows the depth of our sick hearts:
And Jesus said, “The things that come out of people are the things that make them unclean. All these evil things begin INSIDE people, in the mind: evil thoughts, sexual sins, stealing, murder, adultery, greed, evil actions, lying, doing sinful things, jealousy, speaking evil of others, pride, and foolish living. All these evil things come FROM INSIDE and make people unclean.” NCV
So, as much as we are influenced by the world around us to make poor choices we have to realize that before any cultural influences ever entered our lives we had a bent, an inherent tendency toward sin. Just take a look at a two year old child. I have never seen a parent teach a child the word, "Mine!" as they plucked the toy of their desires out of the hands of another "mine" intended child. Likewise, we can look at the life of Cain and readily see there was no influence of violent video games, movies or Internet and yet the jealousy and anger of his heart led him to murder his younger brother. Yes, we must concur with God's Word, our hearts are indeed deceitful and full of incomprehensible sin, whether we want to believe it or not.
1. Stop listening to yourself. Stop allowing your heart to lie to you, to play those wrong thoughts over and over and over again in your mind.
2. Start talking to yourself. Yes, give yourself a good talking to. Say no to the thoughts which try to convince you that what you need to be happy is something more than or other than God, himself.
3. Remind yourself of God. Go to His word. Be reminded of who He is and what He has done to heal and capture your heart through Jesus Christ. Remind yourself of all He has done to prove His love to you. And remind yourself of all those promises He has made in His word which can never and will never be broken because He is faithful.
Have a wonderful day and be happy, IN HIM.
God's eternal healing of your incurable heart:
Your initial healing begins when God, through His Son Jesus Christ, gives you a new heart and a new life through a born again experience by His Holy Spirit. [John 3].
This takes place as you recognize the truth that your sinful heart is incurable [Jeremiah 17:9] and will result in eternal death [Romans 6:26] apart from God's intervention.
He intervenes as His Holy Spirit makes known to your heart the truth that Jesus' death on the cross and resurrection from the dead is your only hope for healing and eternal life as you put your trust in Him alone for salvation. As you repent (have a change of heart to turn from your sin to follow Jesus) and trust Him alone and nothing of yourself [Ephesians 2:8-9] He will hear your prayer, for He promises to hear the prayers of a humble and contrite heart. [Psalm 51:17]
For more information on how to have the hope of eternal life go to lovelybranchesministries.org which you can access at top right of this page. Once there click the HOPE link on the right side of page.
Feel free to email me at edna@lovelybranchesministries.org
We want to live happily ever after. And what keeps us happy? When things go our way. When everything runs smoothly in the direction we had hoped it would go, we are able to maintain a pleasant frame of mind. No bumps. No interruptions. No inconveniences."
Does that paragraph speak to your heart as much as it does to mine? I hate to admit it but there are times when I definitely want no one or nothing to "upset MY apple cart". Somewhere along the way I guess my heart led me to believe that the apple cart was mine and it was all about me. And that keeping all my pretty little apples all in the order I have placed them would make me happy. Unfortunately, like we shared in last week's lesson, circumstances, relationships, ill health, inconveniences happen and the apple cart gets upset and my happy little world is shattered.
Perhaps I missed the truth of Jeremiah 17:9 (pg 10 #2).
The heart is more deceitful that all else, and is desperately sick, who can understand it?
That word 'deceitful' also means sly. Hard to imagine I have a sly and deceitful heart that would turn on me and lead me down a slippery slope. The words 'desperately sick' can be translated as incurable. Wow! My heart is so sick it is incurable. Talk about spiritual heart disease.
Yet our society is filled with phrases like "our hearts are essentially good" and "follow your heart." The message from God's Word of Truth is that our hearts are not essentially good and are in need of healing. And we should definitely not follow our hearts unless our hearts are following Jesus and His truth.
Mark 7:21-23 (pg 11 #3) shows the depth of our sick hearts:
And Jesus said, “The things that come out of people are the things that make them unclean. All these evil things begin INSIDE people, in the mind: evil thoughts, sexual sins, stealing, murder, adultery, greed, evil actions, lying, doing sinful things, jealousy, speaking evil of others, pride, and foolish living. All these evil things come FROM INSIDE and make people unclean.” NCV
So, as much as we are influenced by the world around us to make poor choices we have to realize that before any cultural influences ever entered our lives we had a bent, an inherent tendency toward sin. Just take a look at a two year old child. I have never seen a parent teach a child the word, "Mine!" as they plucked the toy of their desires out of the hands of another "mine" intended child. Likewise, we can look at the life of Cain and readily see there was no influence of violent video games, movies or Internet and yet the jealousy and anger of his heart led him to murder his younger brother. Yes, we must concur with God's Word, our hearts are indeed deceitful and full of incomprehensible sin, whether we want to believe it or not.
In class Thursday I shared how at times I can be in a group of people and suddenly have a really unkind or evil thought pass my mind. Then the very next thought will be, "Edna, what if someone could read your mind." Yikes. I quickly put that one away and try to think on something more, ummmm "godly", just in case ;0). Yet God's word makes it clear that He is the one who reads my mind and heart. 1 Samuel 16:7, Psalm 44:21, Jeremiah 17:10 and Hebrews 4:12 (pg 12 #5) all express how God sees into the depths and recesses of our hearts. Reckon I should be a bit more concerned about what He's seeing in my heart instead of others lest I be found guilty of the desire for the "approval of man instead of the approval of God."
And yet I am amazed in all my depravity that I have this God who loves me beyond measure; who is willing to come alongside me and heal my incurable heart of the sin which seeks to destroy me. Psalm 34:18 tells us to cry out to Him because "He is NEAR to the brokenhearted and crushed in spirit." Our God does not run away from us. He seeks to draw near to His children in their brokenness. Whether that brokenness is from self inflicted wounds of our own foolish choosing or from the wounding which comes at the hand of another's sin, He wants to bring healing.God's Word can do just that, bring healing to your wounded heart. Jeremiah 8:22 speaks of a healing balm and a physician which could heal the Israelites of their incurable hearts. The same balm and physician which could heal them could heal us. I believe in this passage the Physician is God Himself and the balm is His truth, His word. God wants to add healing balm to our incurable hearts of Jeremiah 17:9. Be it those self inflicted wounds or the wounds of others God is in the business of offering His balm of truth to our broken hearts. (To know how you can have eternal healing for your incurable heart see bottom of page)
In Jeremiah 23:29 God's word is referred to as a fire and a hammer. God desires to use the intense heat of His word to purify our impure thoughts, motives and actions. And as painful as it sounds to know God's word is like a hammer, His purpose is to break the hardness that surrounds our rebellious hearts so He might get to a soft, pliable and teachable heart. The use of His word by a metaphorical fire or hammer initially is painful but results in the blessings of peace, joy, hope and the knowledge that He loves us deeply.
King David is a classic example of one who needed the the hammer of God's truth as Nathan the prophet spoke truth to David's heart regarding his adulterous sin with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband, Uriah. In Psalm 51 we see David's hard heart broken by the knowledge of his sin against God. What emerged was a heart tender and humble toward God. Most telling of the pain of David's sin is in verse 12 where he says, "Restore to me the joy of your salvation." This indicates that at one time David enjoyed a wonderful intimate relationship with God which became hindered when David determined that Bathsheba was what he needed to be happy. What he thought would bring happiness only brought a temporary euphoria which cost him greatly in the long run. Much like Eve who was convinced that "everything in the garden" was just not enough to make her happy, David paid a heavy price.
And what about us? What do we find our hearts yearning for? What are the affections of this world and our flesh which tell us that God is just not enough? If we ask God those penetrating questions we are assured some answers. Psalm 139:23-24
Let me close with a quote by Martin Lloyd Jones and some practical applications.
Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself.......You must take yourself in hand, you have to address yourself, you have to preach to yourself, question yourself......then you must go on to remind yourself of God. Who God is, and what God is and what God has done and what God has pledged to do.
In three practical steps this profound quote tells us to:1. Stop listening to yourself. Stop allowing your heart to lie to you, to play those wrong thoughts over and over and over again in your mind.
2. Start talking to yourself. Yes, give yourself a good talking to. Say no to the thoughts which try to convince you that what you need to be happy is something more than or other than God, himself.
3. Remind yourself of God. Go to His word. Be reminded of who He is and what He has done to heal and capture your heart through Jesus Christ. Remind yourself of all He has done to prove His love to you. And remind yourself of all those promises He has made in His word which can never and will never be broken because He is faithful.
Have a wonderful day and be happy, IN HIM.
God's eternal healing of your incurable heart:
Your initial healing begins when God, through His Son Jesus Christ, gives you a new heart and a new life through a born again experience by His Holy Spirit. [John 3].
This takes place as you recognize the truth that your sinful heart is incurable [Jeremiah 17:9] and will result in eternal death [Romans 6:26] apart from God's intervention.
He intervenes as His Holy Spirit makes known to your heart the truth that Jesus' death on the cross and resurrection from the dead is your only hope for healing and eternal life as you put your trust in Him alone for salvation. As you repent (have a change of heart to turn from your sin to follow Jesus) and trust Him alone and nothing of yourself [Ephesians 2:8-9] He will hear your prayer, for He promises to hear the prayers of a humble and contrite heart. [Psalm 51:17]
For more information on how to have the hope of eternal life go to lovelybranchesministries.org which you can access at top right of this page. Once there click the HOPE link on the right side of page.
Feel free to email me at edna@lovelybranchesministries.org
Thursday, September 16, 2010
A Bundle of Emotions
If you are doing the study, "Managing Your Moods" with us then you have just finished Chapter One titled A Bundle of Emotions. If you are not doing the study you are welcome to join in on this blog with or without a book and share your thoughts. If you are interested in a book you can order one using the info at the bottom of this blog.
Key verse:
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good and an evil man out the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. Luke 6:45 [Ladies make it a point to memorize your key verse or/and other verses God lays on your heart as you work through your study each week.]
Yesterday at study we read through the beginning paragraph on pages 1-2 listing many of the "heart" phrases we use in the English language. For instance, being softhearted, cold hearted or even faint hearted; wearing your heart on your sleeve or even having a change of heart; doing things that do a heart good and doing a job heartily, going at it heart and soul, just to name a few.
Amazing how much we use the word "heart" in so many ways so often in our everyday life. It's also interesting that God's Word references "heart" over 750 times in the Bible. For that reason we much sit up and take notice. For when a word is so prevalently used in our culture and in the Bible then it is a word which demands to be understood.
Take a look at the definition of the word "heart" below.
A term used especially of the non material part of a person; it can refer to what might elsewhere be described as the mind, the emotions, the will, the spirit, etc.
The source and center of emotional life, where the deepest and sincerest feelings are located and a person is most vulnerable to pain [Encarta Dictionary]
[If interested in the original Hebrew and Greek definitions they are listed at the bottom
of the page] When we consider all the different emotions, good and bad, which we face on a day by day basis we might picture a rubber band ball (Trinket to Treasure - pg 8) because of the complexity of the moods and emotions that are bound up in our hearts. And those moods can be triggered at a moment's notice by a complex range of different things - circumstances; relationships; the weather; health issues; our thought life; worldly media; sights, sounds and smells; holidays; unconfessed sin, just to name a few.
when I think of this:
The Lord’s love never ends;
his mercies never stop.
They are new every morning;
Lord, your loyalty is great.
I say to myself, “The Lord is mine,
so I hope in him.” NCV
Managing Your Moods by Women of Faith [Thomas Nelson Publishing]
Can be ordered through Christian Book Distributors
Key verse:
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good and an evil man out the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. Luke 6:45 [Ladies make it a point to memorize your key verse or/and other verses God lays on your heart as you work through your study each week.]
Yesterday at study we read through the beginning paragraph on pages 1-2 listing many of the "heart" phrases we use in the English language. For instance, being softhearted, cold hearted or even faint hearted; wearing your heart on your sleeve or even having a change of heart; doing things that do a heart good and doing a job heartily, going at it heart and soul, just to name a few.
Amazing how much we use the word "heart" in so many ways so often in our everyday life. It's also interesting that God's Word references "heart" over 750 times in the Bible. For that reason we much sit up and take notice. For when a word is so prevalently used in our culture and in the Bible then it is a word which demands to be understood.
Take a look at the definition of the word "heart" below.
A term used especially of the non material part of a person; it can refer to what might elsewhere be described as the mind, the emotions, the will, the spirit, etc.
The source and center of emotional life, where the deepest and sincerest feelings are located and a person is most vulnerable to pain [Encarta Dictionary]
[If interested in the original Hebrew and Greek definitions they are listed at the bottom
of the page] When we consider all the different emotions, good and bad, which we face on a day by day basis we might picture a rubber band ball (Trinket to Treasure - pg 8) because of the complexity of the moods and emotions that are bound up in our hearts. And those moods can be triggered at a moment's notice by a complex range of different things - circumstances; relationships; the weather; health issues; our thought life; worldly media; sights, sounds and smells; holidays; unconfessed sin, just to name a few.
King David, a man after God's own heart and great biblical hero, was one who dealt with a wide range of emotions himself as he struggled through many changes in his life. In Psalm 25:16-18 (pg 3 #4) David cries out to God,
Turn to me and have mercy on me,
because I am lonely and hurting.
My troubles have grown larger;
free me from my problems.
Look at my suffering and troubles,
and take away all my sins.
Take a look below at some of the difficult things David endured and decide for yourself if he had good reason to be an emotional mess.
Before being anointed as king over Israel David spent a great deal of time running for his life as King Saul sought to have him killed. His best friend Jonathon is killed. After becoming king he commits adultery and murder. He eventually repents but then later on has major problems with his children. His son Amnon raped his half sister Tamar creating such anger in Absalom that he kills Amnon out of revenge for Tamar. Absalom flees and he and his father David war against each other for many years. David ends up with many physical ailments, most assuredly as a result of all the crises in his life.Two other great man of the Old Testament was Jeremiah and Elijah. Jeremiah spent more than 40 years exhorting God's people to repent and turn back to God, to no avail. He became discouraged, at times wanting to "resign" his appointed post as prophet. Enduring hostile oppressions, beatings and imprisonment Jeremiah also found himself with a bundle of emotions ruling over him at times. The book of Lamentations (to cry aloud) is a very sad picture of Jeremiah's pain after God allowed Babylon to come in and destroy Jerusalem and take the people captive. In chapter one, verse 12 he states, "look and see if there is any pain like my pain." His pain was so intense because his crises were intense. Yet in chapter 3, verse 19-24, Jeremiah, after once again recalling all the pain he'd experienced, remembers where his hope is rooted.
But I have hopewhen I think of this:
The Lord’s love never ends;
his mercies never stop.
They are new every morning;
Lord, your loyalty is great.
I say to myself, “The Lord is mine,
so I hope in him.” NCV
Even Elijah after doing mighty things in the power of Almighty God (1 Kings 17-18) found himself running for his life out of fear when Jezebel threatened to have him killed. Finding himself in a weak and discouraged state he said to God in 1 Kings 19, "Now, O Lord take my life." God, instead sends angels to minister to Elijah with food and drink so as to restore his strength and revive his heart.
David, Jeremiah and Elijah, all three were great men of God, chosen to be vessels of God for His kingdom work. Yet we look and see that these men struggled through a great many difficulties. They were at many times plagued by a bundle of emotions just as we are due to, as we listed above: circumstances, relationships, unconfessed sin, etc. We are in good company.
You too, ladies, are chosen vessels of God, chosen women for God's mighty purposes. First and foremost for an intimate relationship with Him if you have indeed given your heart and life to Him through faith in His work at the cross.This relationship can never be taken away from you. Even as everything else in your life is in a state of flux - your circumstances, your relationships or even your health changes God will always be your "constant". He never changes and loves you beyond measure. And your crisis, even though different than those men listed above and different than those around you it is still your personal crisis and He wants you to know you can cry out to Him much like David did so many times in the psalms.
Secondly, God has purposed you for tasks only intended for you in his kingdom. Much like the godly men and women of old you have a calling on your life. And the things you go through are there to draw you close to Him and transform you day by day into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ.
Take a look at many of the New Testament people as well, like Paul and Peter and you will find they too struggled greatly with a bundle of emotions. Even Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, just before his crucifixion, dealt greatly with emotion you and I could not even comprehend. As it states in Matthew 26, He was "grieved to the point of death." His emotions were way too deep for anyone of us to comprehend when we consider what Jesus knew he was about to face at the cross, the onslaught of sin upon his shoulders and the separation for a time from his Father.
Knowing Jesus' endurance of so much in his short 33 years on this earth in human form we realize from Hebrews 4:14-15 that He understands the depth of our emotions more than we realize:
Since we have a great high priest, Jesus the Son of God, who has gone into heaven, let us hold on to the faith we have. For our high priest is able to understand our weaknesses. He was tempted in every way that we are, but he did not sin. NCV
The very next verse offers even more hope:
Let us, then, feel very sure that we can come before God’s throne where there is grace. There we can receive mercy and grace to help us when we need it.
It's encouraging to know that we, like David, Jeremiah, Elijah, Paul and Peter, can approach God's throne of grace. This place where He knows everything about us - our tangled and complex bundle of emotions; our circumstances, our tough relationship, our crazy thoughts, our poor choices and even the sin deep in the recesses of our hearts. And yet He says "Come" so that He might offer us healing balm and apply it ever so lovingly to our wounded and sick hearts. That is where the hope lies, in his loving hand.
Ladies, let me close by encouraging you to take Paul's exhortation seriously in Colossians 3:16a (pg 6, #9) to "let the word of Christ dwell richly within you." Let His very words as written in His Holy Bible live abundantly inside your heart. For this is where the power to get a grip on those emotions which currently have a grip on you can be overcome. Make it your life's mission to search out, with all your heart, soul, mind and strength those truths God has laid out for you.
Hebrew definition of heart:
3820 לֵב, לֵב קָמָי [leb /labe/] n m. A form of 3824; TWOT 1071a; GK 4213 and 4214; 592 occurrences; AV translates as “heart” 508 times, “mind” 12 times, “midst” 11 times, “understanding” 10 times, “hearted” seven times, “wisdom” six times, “comfortably” four times, “well” four times, “considered” twice, “friendly” twice, “kindly” twice, “stouthearted + 47” twice, “care + 7760” twice, and translated miscellaneously 20 times. 1 inner man, mind, will, heart, understanding. 1A inner part, midst. 1A1 midst (of things). 1A2 heart (of man). 1A3 soul, heart (of man). 1A4 mind, knowledge, thinking, reflection, memory. 1A5 inclination, resolution, determination (of will). 1A6 conscience. 1A7 heart (of moral character). 1A8 as seat of appetites. 1A9 as seat of emotions and passions. 1A10 as seat of courage. [Strong’s Hebrew Lexicon]
Greek definition of heart:
2588 καρδία [kardia /kar•dee•ah/] n f. Prolonged from a primary kar (Latin, cor, “heart”); TDNT 3:605; TDNTA 415; GK 2840; 160 occurrences; AV translates as “heart” 159 times, and “broken hearted + 4937” once. 1 the heart. 1A that organ in the animal body which is the centre of the circulation of the blood, and hence was regarded as the seat of physical life. 1B denotes the centre of all physical and spiritual life. 2A the vigour and sense of physical life. 2B the centre and seat of spiritual life. 2B1 the soul or mind, as it is the fountain and seat of the thoughts, passions, desires, appetites, affections, purposes, endeavours. 2B2 of the understanding, the faculty and seat of the intelligence. 2B3 of the will and character. 2B4 of the soul so far as it is affected and stirred in a bad way or good, or of the soul as the seat of the sensibilities, affections, emotions, desires, appetites, passions. 1C of the middle or central or inmost part of anything, even though inanimate. [Strong’s Greek Lexicon]
Managing Your Moods by Women of Faith [Thomas Nelson Publishing]
Can be ordered through Christian Book Distributors
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